Harry Shum Jr. brought his marriage to Shelby Rabara into the spotlight during Dancing With the Stars Season 35 when he dedicated a performance to his wife. The Grey’s Anatomy actor performed a foxtrot with professional partner Jenna Johnson during the show’s October 20 Dedication Night, with Rabara and their daughter Xia joining him on the ballroom floor.
The 44-year-old actor has been married to Rabara since November 2015. Both have built careers in acting and dance, and their relationship began years before Shum became widely recognized for his roles in Glee, Shadowhunters and Crazy Rich Asians.
Who Is Harry Shum Jr.’s Wife Shelby Rabara?
Shelby Rabara is an American actress, dancer and voice performer known for her work in television, film and animation. Born on October 5, 1983, she has appeared in productions including 17 Again, Glee, 2 Broke Girls and Goliath.
One of Rabara’s best-known roles is voicing Peridot in the animated television series Steven Universe. She also voiced the character in Steven Universe Future and played Snappy in Pixar’s Toy Story 5.
Before establishing her acting career, Rabara trained in ballet and jazz. She also performed as a member of the Los Angeles Lakers’ Laker Girls dance team.
Her background in dance is something she shares with Shum, who began his entertainment career as a professional dancer before moving into major television and film roles.
How Did Harry Shum Jr. and Shelby Rabara Meet?
Shum and Rabara first crossed paths through their work as dancers. They encountered each other at auditions and appeared in the same commercial before beginning a romantic relationship around 2007.
Their first official date involved watching the musical film Dreamgirls. Shum later recalled that the experience helped them connect because both were emotionally affected by the movie.
Rabara also played a role in Shum’s early television success. After working on the pilot episode of Glee, she encouraged him to audition for the series.
Shum eventually landed the role of Mike Chang, appearing in the musical comedy-drama from 2009 to 2015. The character became one of his most recognizable television performances.
When Did Harry Shum Jr. Marry Shelby Rabara?
Shum and Rabara became engaged in October 2013 during a trip to Hawaii. After approximately two years of engagement, they married on November 22, 2015, in Costa Rica.
The wedding took place in the country where Shum was born. The actor, whose parents are Chinese, spent his early childhood in Costa Rica before his family moved to California.
The couple celebrated their tenth wedding anniversary in November 2025.
During a June 2026 interview at the premiere of his Netflix film Voicemails for Isabelle, Shum discussed how their relationship had changed over the years. He explained that maintaining a marriage requires adapting to each other’s needs and continuing to communicate through different stages of life.
Harry Shum Jr. and Shelby Rabara’s Daughter Xia
Shum and Rabara welcomed their first child, daughter Xia, in March 2019. The couple announced her arrival on March 28 with a photograph showing their newborn’s feet.
They have generally protected Xia’s privacy, occasionally sharing family photographs without clearly showing her face.
In September 2021, Shum discussed how fatherhood had changed his emotional outlook.
He said, “In having a kid, you feel things a lot easier because you’re more connected to the innocence of life that, as you grow older, you tend to suppress.”
Xia became part of her father’s Dancing With the Stars experience in 2026. During Dedication Night, she joined her parents and Jenna Johnson on the dance floor following Shum’s foxtrot to John Mayer’s Stop This Train.
Their Family Life and Current Careers
Shum continues to portray Dr. Benson “Blue” Kwan on Grey’s Anatomy while competing on Dancing With the Stars. His recent film work includes Voicemails for Isabelle, in which he plays Andy alongside Nick Robinson and Zoey Deutch.
Rabara remains involved in acting and voice performance. The couple also collaborated on the children’s book Martee Dares to Dance, published in 2024, which encourages children to express themselves through movement.
The family lives in Los Angeles, where Shum and Rabara balance their professional commitments with raising Xia.
As of November 2026, Shum and Rabara remain married and have been together for nearly two decades. Their family has continued to appear during his Dancing With the Stars journey, while Shum maintains his television career on Grey’s Anatomy.